Friendship ...by Sr. Dorothy

It was my turn to post on our blog this past week, but I had company and just couldn’t find time or attention to do it. I was enjoying being with my friend too much!

How do two people get to be friends? It can happen in many different ways, as we may realize when we stop to think about it. We might grow up together, go to the same school, maybe our parents were friends, or we may not meet until we are older.

I have a couple of friends whom I’ve known since high school and college, 1950’s and 1960’s respectively—more than sixty years. We now live far apart and so don’t see each other—but I know that if or when we do, we will be delighted. And I have a friend I met almost forty years ago. For some of you, these numbers will seem a bit fantastic, and for others, I can imagine you nodding your heads: good friends are a precious gift, a gift to keep. A new friendship is also a joy, and I have one of those too. Even though one may be drawn to another person, there’s no knowing whether a friendship will ripen from a meeting—and what a pleasure it is when it does!

My almost-forty-year friendship began at a volleyball game in a church gym. A mutual friend had told each of us to watch out for the other there, and that we might enjoy each other’s company. We both liked volleyball, but she would jump or lay herself out to reach the ball, whereas I would be lucky to see it coming—I was not exactly athletic. Somehow we recognized each other, and after the game we sat on the gym floor and talked for a long time. Before we left, she had invited me to come on an overnight camping trip with her and another friend. That was how it started.

Over the years, we visited as often as we could, went to museums and concerts, cooked and ate meals together, and made quilts with her quilting group. I introduced her to a friend of mine who would become her husband, and I was there at their wedding. She and her family attended the celebration of my Perpetual Monastic Profession here at St. Placid Priory.

We supported each other when our mothers passed on; she encouraged me when my son died, and I encouraged her during her husband’s illness and after his death. I don’t drive on the freeways any longer, so she comes to visit me and usually plans to stay several days so that we have time to just sit and talk, or work the jigsaw puzzle, or knit and crochet, or run an errand together.

In my experience, once a friendship begins, no matter how it started, it is nurtured by spending time together and doing sometimes exciting--and often very ordinary--things together, caring about the other’s well-being, being supportive in trouble, and taking time to learn about the other person, what she thinks and believes, what she enjoys, what may make her happy or make her feel uncomfortable. Age doesn’t seem to matter much when two people embark on a friendship. I have friends my own age, and friends much younger. At my age, I no longer have many older friends, but I do have precious memories of friends who have passed on.

All friendship is to be treasured, and I am so grateful for those who have given me the gift of their friendship. I hope you, too, pay attention when it looks like someone wants to be friends with you, or when you meet someone you'd like to be friends with. Taking a chance on friendship may be one of the best things you ever do.